Paula Abdul Replaced by Jessie Scott

JessieScott Here's how this thing is going to work...  

Music Fog’s own Jessie Scott is the most qualified person for the Idol job in America.  With Paula’s Twitter announcement saying she wasn’t returning to the show for season #9, it only makes sense that Jessie Scott step in with Randy & Simon for the new season.  Jessie has all of the qualifications: 

  • Jessie has a checkered past (possibly more so than Paula’s) and is still alive today to talk about it.

  • Jessie is a flamboyant dresser.  The gang from What Not To Wear should be camping at her door as we speak. 

  • Jessie has occasional bouts with ADD.  An absolutely key factor in Idol’s formula!

  • Jessie isn’t afraid to confront a pompous British guy in a T-shirt.

  • Jessie stuffs her Blackberry in her bra.  And will take a call on TV.  I mean really!

  • Jessie has a really good smile, and has spent a fortune on her teeth.

  • Jessie drinks (enough said).

  • Jessie has “The Vortex.”  You Music Fog followers know about that!

  • Jessie can speak in random spurts that make absolutely no sense.

  • Jessie can gush...


If American Idol wants a cure for its wilting ratings, this is the answer. Plus it would give Americana a foot in the door.  And it’s really about time for that!  

I’m not joking about this. Hell, even Stephen King would get on-board for an effort such as this. He once called Jessie “The Antidote to American Idol.”  And Jessie really knows her music.  Lock yourself in a room with her for just 5 minutes thinking that you know something about artistry and music and you might as well just kill yourself.  Paula Abdul can’t claim that, but she sure she can dance.  I don’t know if Jessie can…matter of fact I’m pretty sure she can’t.  But is the ability to dance really a prerequisite for a slot on the judging panel?  Not unless you don’t know what you are doing.  Jessie knows. 

So, what do we have to do here?  Start a Facebook page?  Enroll the Music Fog Twitter followers into an army of factious rebels? Start a fire somewhere?

I’m so wound up about this that I need to go out and smoke...

-Beans