Traveling at night through the mountains does present its driving challenges. Our “soccer mom” mini van rental seemed to drift the Colorado mountain roads, thankfully without hitting deer or elk up to Telluride. We were given “shortcut directions” from Albuquerque. The directions were good. They landed us in Dolores just in time for a late bite before the town rolled up the carpet. Funny thing about Dolores, CO, the town smells like cinnamon.

On the left was The Ponderosa Restaurant. The name just seemed to scream ‘steak dinner’…or maybe ‘meatloaf.’ Inside were three individuals who looked surprised and just a tad irritated that we had arrived 20 minutes before closing. I can only imagine what must have been going through their minds – Jessie with her red hair, rose colored glasses, flowing bandanna & big city attitude. Me, with my big voice, tattered personality and five-day beard stubble. It must have looked like we were traveling with a monkey that was about to be set loose in the restaurant to trash the place.

Krystal - Kayla - HeavenOur waitress was Krystal. She piled on the attitude in an interest of hoping to save the restaurant from imagined primate mayhem. The hostess was Kayla. She looked scared but decided to tough it out with Krystal. They double-teamed us, obviously willing to wrestle us to the ground if trouble broke out. We both ordered the 8oz. sirloin and salad bar. Then started to roam the empty restaurant to see the pictures on the wall. Lots of train photos from a railroad long gone in Dolores, CO. Heaven, the third Ponderosa girl followed us around to make sure we didn’t steal anything. It was Heaven who reconnoitered to find where we parked, and discovered we didn’t have a surprise monkey to let loose. The steak came to the table, along with biscuits nestled next to baked beans. Jessie joined the clean plate club. I couldn’t finish mine and was berated by Krystal. She also insisted that I eat the homemade cake that came as part of the deal. All three of these young ladies gathered at the table to watch me eat. It was like something out of a Stephen King novel. Did the cake contain some sort of drug cooked in a trailer house lab? Or were they just proud of it? Either way, the joke was going to be on me and I had to man up. I’m OK today. And I’m prepared to give the Ponderosa a Zagat rating of 4 stars. If you go there, tell them Jessie & Beans sent you.

-Beans